


Maybe

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Canon, Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-17
Updated: 2004-04-29
Packaged: 2018-12-27 12:42:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12081276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian is 16, Justin is 15, they meet in a self-defense class.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

“Damn it Justin!!! What the hell happened this time??? Do not say that this happened in gym class! I’m a member of the country club too, and none of the other kids that you go to school with are ever as battered as you! So tell me, who did this?” 

“Dad, I can’t let you get involved. I’ll just get it a lot worse if my daddy has to help me.” Justin replied with his shoulders slumped in resignation. 

“Fine you don’t want help, then I’m signing you up for self defense classes! You’re 15, not 5, you need to stand up for yourself!”

“Do you think I don’t? I’m fucking out numbered and I would hardly ask Daphne to jump in and help!”

“Well then, you’ll get the proper training to fend them off, and maybe even make a couple friends that can help you.”

“Whatever you say dad.”

*************************************************************

“Oh my God!!! What the hell happened to you?”

“Same shit different day.” Brian replied solemnly.

“Brian, you can’t keep letting your dad beat up on you. I love you and I’d like to see you alive day after day!”

“Why do you think I’m starting those self-defense classes? I have every intention of learning how to kick his big ass so bad that he’ll never come back at me. The way it is now, I could hit him back, but then he’d kill me, I have to be ready for anything.”

“I wish you’d let me ask my parents to let you stay here. We have more than enough room and we could… have secret sleepovers.” She stated the end in a whisper and with a wink.

Brian wasn’t amused, he came to see his girlfriend for comfort, and for a safe haven, not a sexual encounter. “Lindsey, you know that that’s impossible, your parents know that we’re together, they’ll never approve of me sleeping in the room next to yours. Let’s be realistic, I have to find a way to just defend myself.

“Fine, but promise me that if you can’t take him on, and it gets to be too much for you, you’ll at least let me ask.”

“Okay, I promise, but Lindsey, don’t get your hopes up, I have to really try and handle this on my own.”

“Okay.”

*************************************************************

“Hello class, my name is Vic Grassi, and I’ll be your self defense instructor through out this course! This is a male beginner’s class for ages 14-17. I would like just to hear everyone’s names and then I’ll assign partners for everyone. Ok, you go first.”

“Hi I’m Scott.” Justin noticed this came from a dark haired average looking guy.

“I’m Hal.” ‘Short, slim and mousey, not attractive at all’, thought Justin.

“Bobby.” ‘Better, pretty built and not to bad looking’.

“I’m Peter.” ‘He’s kinda hot, but too girly,’ Justin mused.

“Brian.” ‘Holy shit, he’s fucking gorgeous.’ His mind reeled at what he wanted to do to the boy, not that he had much experience, but he was definitely up for learning!

“Ron.” Justin never even looked in his direction, still awed by Brian.

“Randy.” Still not looking.

“Gale.” Still not looking.

Lost in thought about the gorgeous Brian Justin was a little startled to hear Vic, “And you son, what’s your name?” That brought him back with a little embarrassment but he quickly recovered, “Justin, my name’s Justin.” “Glad you remembered snickered one of the guys whose name he didn’t remember.

“And I’m Jack.” Again, Justin’s attention was elsewhere. He didn’t even realize he had a partner until said partner came up to him and asked if he was all right. “Oh yeah, I’m all right, just fine!” He said with a smirk in Brian’s direction.

“I know, isn’t he hot?”

“Yeah, wait… how’d you know?”

“Please, I have eyes too, the guy is fucking gorgeous, and the fact that since he said his name you haven’t even looked at anything or anyone else.”

“Yeah, I guess I was a little obvious, I’m sorry but I didn’t get your name either.”

“No sweat, it’s Randy, we got paired pretty much by height and weight so that we didn’t hurt each other.”

“Yeah, I guess we are pretty alike. Well I guess that we should start on the moves.” Justin didn’t really want to start, he wasn’t really one for being physically aggressive and wasn’t looking forward to bruises, but he really did need to fight Hobbs and his friends off, he still has 3 fucking years at that damn school, and getting his as kicked weekly wasn’t really high on his to do list.

************

Across the room:

“So aren’t you a hottie?”

“Excuse me?” Brian kinda figured that his partner was gay, but he really didn’t expect confirmation within minutes of meeting him.

“Oh please, most of the guys in here are gay, why else would they need self-defense. My gay-dar pinged all over the place for you and a few others!”

“Well, your gay-dar,” Brian said the last word with amusement, “needs some adjusting, I have a girlfriend. I’m not gay.”

“Riiiight. Elton John was married, so if that’s argument, you need to seriously reconsider it. Plus, I saw you checking out Blondie over there, he’s hot too, interested?”

“ I just told you I wasn’t gay, so no, I’m not interested!” Brian said this with a little more force than he meant to, but this Peter kid only knew him for like 10 minutes and he was already bringing his most secret thoughts to the surface. Brian had always found himself drawn to men, but he had no problem with dating girls. He had Lindsey, the guy fantasy was just that, a fantasy, one that will never be acted out. But that blond kid, Justin, damn, he was looking kinda hot.

“Can we just do the moves that Vic’s trying to show us?” 

“Sure, but just know that you don’t have me fooled!”

*************************************************************

“All right guys, you all did great, we’ll meet here Monday’s, Wednesday’s and Friday’s every week for the next 8 weeks. Go home, get some rest and try and practice a little and stretch as much as you can, you don’t want to hurt yourselves, that’s what we’re trying to prevent.”

On his way out, Brian noticed Justin walking in the same direction that he had to drive to get home. Brian hopped in his car and pulled up next to Justin. “Hey need a lift?” 

“Um, I don’t live to far, you don’t have to.”

“I didn’t think I did, hop in. It’s Justin, right?” Brian really didn’t know why he wanted to give the boy a ride home, but he just felt that it was the right thing at that moment. 

“Yeah, thanks, I didn’t feel like calling my dad, he can be a drag.”

“I totally understand! I was so glad that my Aunt gave me her old car, now I don’t ever have to ask for rides anywhere.” Brian was glad that the kid started a conversation right away, he was worried it was going to be an awkward ride.

“I can’t wait, Ill be 16 in a month and my dad said he’s getting me a car so he doesn’t have to drive my needy ass all over the place.” Justin was happy to be in the car with the hottie to his left and was tempted to give directions that would take them the long way to his house, but he didn’t give in, he gave the correct directions.

“You’ll love it, its’ so liberating.” They looked at each other and started to laugh at that statement. “Okay, maybe it’s not that serious but you do feel a lot more independent!”

The rest of the short drive was filled with small talk and stupid questions such as ‘what school do you go to?’ and such. When they pulled up to Justin’s house Brian didn’t really want Justin to go, but that thought made him a little uncomfortable, ‘why do I want him to stay?’ he thought. “Um, do you need a ride on Wednesday to the next class?” ‘Where the hell did that come from? I need to go see Lindsey, maybe that’ll help. Maybe I just miss her. Yeah, that’s it.’

“Sure, if you don’t mind.” Justin had never been so excited in his life. He sensed that Brian was gay, but he wasn’t sure, now he had hope! 

“No, not at all.”

“Okay, later.”

“Later.” ‘Well, maybe Peter’s right, I know that the hard –on I have right now from the sight of him bent over while getting out of the car isn’t a fantasy. Hmmm… I guess I’ll see.’


	2. Maybe

The next day Brian went straight to Lindsey’s house after school because her parents weren’t home and he was horny! He spent most of the afternoon and evening fucking Lindsey’s brains out. He tried to ignore the fact that each time he came he was thinking about the hot boy he gave a ride home to last night, but he was only fooling himself. Lindsey saw that he was elsewhere in their activities, she just assumed that he was trying to not think about the shit he put up with at home, she never even considered that he was thinking about someone else, especially a boy someone else; therefore she just let him get it all out. Besides, she was really enjoying it!

After about three rounds of non-stop sex, Brian realized that his efforts were useless, Justin was running all over the place in his mind and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. In addition to that, he wasn’t even sure that he wanted to stop. Justin stirred up feelings in him that Lindsey certainly never had. This confused him, but it also excited him. He was picturing things that he wanted to do with the boy but unsure that he actually wanted to act them out. He decided to go home and not think about it at all, just try not to get his ass kicked by his dad and go straight to bed.

He managed to get by his father unharmed and made it to bed. Exhausted from his earlier excursions with Lindsey, he fell asleep instantly. His night was filled with dreams about Justin. There was no escape!

*************************************************************

Justin’s day was spent differently, but not much. He didn’t get harassed at school too much because the football players were at an away day game. He spent most of the day talking Daphne’s ear off about the hottie Brian that he met at self-defense class. 

“Daph, you just have to see him, he’s so gorgeous and he gave me a ride home! He offered to bring me tomorrow also!!!”

“Um… that’s great Justin, but do you even know if he’s gay? I don’t think that you should be too obvious in case he’s a crazy homophobe and decides to kick your ass.” Daphne replied with concern.

“I’m not 100% sure, but I kinda get the feeling that he is. I mean, why would he want to pick me up if he’s not interested? Plus, I doubt he’s a homophobe, his partner in class is a total flame and he doesn’t seem to mind.”

“Maybe he’s not, but please just be careful.”

“I’ll be careful Daph, I promise!” Justin was starting to consider what she was saying, maybe Brian was just being nice. Maybe he really had no interest in him like that at all. “ Hey, by the way, I am not obvious!”

“No, not at all!”

*************************************************************

When Brian woke up the next day, he decided that he had to figure out what was going on with him before he picked up Justin in the evening. He decided to skip out on school and just sneak back into the house once his parents left for work. He didn’t want to have it on his mind all day at school due to his irrational fear that if he was thinking about it, everyone would know and he’d be THE FAGGOT all over town.

Brian sat and considered all possibilities of reasons for his feelings, such as he ‘just wants a male friend’ or he’s ‘just confused since he’s young’, and weirdest and most desperate of all, he just ‘always wanted a younger brother to protect since no one ever protected him and that’s what he really felt for Justin, brotherly affection.’ After acknowledging how fucking untrue and ridiculous those all were, he realized that he’s probably bisexual. ‘Bisexual isn’t so bad, I still like girls, I’m just kinda into guys, no one will ever have to know,’ Brian thought to himself in his last attempt at being “normal.” ‘Oh fuck it, I never even noticed until now, but I’m not really all that interested in girls, I don’t mind them, Lindsey’s cool, but the whole sex thing is really just going through the motions for me, it’s not bad, but I always imagined it would be more exciting. Maybe it never was because I’m with the wrong sex, maybe with a guy, with Justin, it will be totally different! Holy shit!!! I’m gay! I’m totally gay! Shit! When was someone gonna tell me? Oh right, Peter told me yesterday! Huh, maybe I’m just crazy. But Justin is pretty hot!’

Brian spent the rest of the day looking on the internet at gay porn sites and gay organizations to see if he was interested. He was very, very interested and had to take matters into his own hands a few times during the porn! That settled it for him, he was definitely gay! He would now have to act out some of those fantasies he’d kept hidden in the dark depths of his mind. Now the only question is, is Justin gay? He’d hate to have all this self revelation and then Justin end up being straight. That just couldn’t happen. It couldn’t! Peter said his “gay-dar” or whateverthefuck pinged on a few others too, maybe Justin was one of them, hopefully Justin was one of them.


	3. Maybe

Justin didn’t have the best day at school, but it could have been worse. Hobbs only made homophobic remarks that went un-noticed, or rather ignored by the staff about 4 times! The day went by pretty quickly since he was mostly daydreaming about Brian! He hoped that he was still gonna give him a ride to class but didn’t want to get his hopes up in case he forgot. “I should have got his number.” Justin thought, “that way I could have called to confirm, oh well, I guess I’ll find out in a few hours!” He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn’t realize that the bell to go home had rung and Daphne was next to him speaking!

“Hello Justin! Earth to Justin!”

“Oh shit, hey Daph, I was just daydreaming, you know how boring Mr. Bruckner can be!”

“Yeah? What, or should I say who were you daydreaming about? Let me guess was it…”

“You already know who, so shut up!!! Jeese, he’s hot ok?”

“I’m gonna have to see this Brian for myself.”

“No way, you’d totally embarrass me!”

“Uh! I‘m offended. Am I that shitty of a friend that you think I’d go and embarrass you?”

“No, you’re not shitty, you just don’t think before you speak!”

“Whatever, fuck you!” she stated light-heartedly and playfully slapped his arm. 

“Stop abusing me, or I won’t let you meet him today!”

“Yey!!! I’ll stay over until he picks you up!” 

“If he picks me up.” He corrected her.

Justin had passed his house because he was so deep in thought about what he’d like to do to Brian if he did pick him up. He didn’t realize until he heard Daphne say, “Um Justin? We’re here.”

“Oh, right.” They went up to his room and continued the conversation when they were sure that Justin’s parents couldn’t hear them.

“So Daph, what the hell do I say to find out if he is?”

“Is what?”

“You are so slow sometimes.” They both rolled their eyes, him at her obliviousness to their whole conversation and her as her way of dismissing his comment. “If he’s gay. Duh!”

“Oh. How the hell should I know? You’re the gay one, you tell me.”

“You’re a lot of help.”

The two went on discussing nothing at all really, just out of this world ways of finding out and eventually decided that Justin should just spend time with him out of the class and he’ll find out through their interaction. 

“Well what do I do? Ask him to a movie? That’s kinda like a date. I don’t wanna scare him!” 

“I got it!!! Ask him to help you out with some of the moves you guys are learning.”

“That’s not a bad idea. You’re amazing Daph!”

“I know!” 

*************************************************************

Just as Justin was beginning to think that Brian wasn’t going to show, and he was gonna have to go with his dad, he heard a knock at the door.

“I got it!” Justin yelled to his parents. He opened the door and was both surprised and relieved to see Brian at the door.

“Hey Brian, I thought maybe you forgot.”

“No, just running a little late. I’ll have to get your number so I can call you and let you know next time.” 

“So there’ll be a next time!! And he wants my number!!! Nice!!!” Justin   
thought.

“Yeah sure. Let me grab my stuff and we can go.”

“Cool.”

Justin ran to his room to tell Daphne that Brian was there and if she wanted to meet him, she had to do it now. They went and met Brian at the door.

“Brian, this is my friend Daphne. Daphne, this is Brian, he’s from my self-defense class!” He told her that bit of info so that he wouldn’t know that he had mentioned him, he didn’t want to come off as a girly “talker”.

“Hi Brian, nice to meet you! Bye Justin!” She turned and mouthed the word “HOT” to Justin and proceeded to leave.

“Nice to meet you too.” Brian said as Daphne was leaving. He looked at her, she was very pretty, but she just didn’t do anything for him. Nothing like what Justin did, Justin turned him on with a simple smile, Justin was HOTTT! That was all the confirmation he needed, not that he was really doubting it anymore, after his whack fest with the gay porn he was pretty convinced that he was in fact a homo! But he was just checking!

“Mom, dad, I’m getting a ride to class, bye.” Justin yelled to his parents hoping they wouldn’t come out and try to meet his ride. Luckily they just said “bye” and that’s it!

The boys hopped in the car and headed off towards the class.

“So uh Justin, how do you like the class so far?” Brian asked, sounding a little nervous and hoping that Justin didn’t notice.

“Well, we only had the one class, but I like it, I think we’ll learn some good moves.” ‘This is the perfect time to ask for his help!!!’ Justin thought. “Do you like it?”

“Yeah, I’d just like to practice the moves more than 3 times a week. Wanna practice with me on like Tuesdays and Thursdays?” ‘That wasn’t so bad, it didn’t even come out like a date, but maybe one day…’

‘Holy shit, did he just steal my I-wanna-get-to-know-you-so-I-can-find-out-if-you-wanna-bang-me idea? Oh, he is sooo gay!!! It’s official. “Sure, I was actually gonna ask you the same thing.” Justin said with a big smile.

“Cool, so tomorrow then? What, about 5:00?” 

“yeah, I’ll give you my number when we get to class!”

“Here, just put it in my cell now. If you have a cell, call it and put from there and just save my number in case you need to cancel or something.” Brian was really just trying to see if the blond would even want his number. He was glad to hear the boy’s reply.

“I’m sure I won’t be canceling, but I’ll save it anyway, you know, just in case.” He said the word “sure” like he would do anything to prevent him having to cancel, and he would!

‘Hmmmm… he was gonna ask me??? He’s SURE he won’t be canceling. He’s giving me his number! He is sooo gay!!! It’s official.’


	4. Maybe

The boys got to class a couple of minutes late, but no one seemed to mind. They went to their partners and then Vic started the class. Brian was working with Peter and remembered that he wanted to find out if his “gay-dar” had in fact “pinged” for Justin. 

“So Peter, you were saying that you thought a lot of the other guys in here were gay, who else?” Brian knew that did NOT come out subtle at all, but oh well, it was out already.

“Why honey, interested in someone?” Peter had seen Brian and Justin come into the class together and he saw Brian give Justin a ride home the other night was intrigued.

“I told you I wasn’t…”

“Right, right, you’re not gay, but you sure seem to want to know who is and you brought Justin in with you today and haven’t stopped staring at him, so if you aren’t gay, why do you want to know, and why are you staring at that cutie all night?”

“Forget I asked.” Brian was bothered that he was obviously so transparent, but there was nothing he could do about it, he didn’t know how to hide something that he didn’t even realize he was showing.

The boys spent the rest of the class in relative silence, only discussing a move that they had to do. When the class was over, Peter just had a few parting words for Brian.

“Don’t worry, it pinged for him too.” Peter whispered this with a nod at Justin and Brian nodded in acknowledgement and realized that maybe it was ok that Peter knew, maybe they could talk about it sometime, but he wasn’t going to confirm anything right now.

***********************

Randy and Justin had been getting along well. They discussed ho hot they thought Brian was and Randy voiced that he was interested in Peter, Brian’s partner. 

“Brian’s cool, we’re gonna practice the moves on Tuesdays and Thursdays so we learn faster.”

“Who’s idea was it?”

“His, he asked me today, why?”

“Nothing, it’s just that you were saying that you didn’t think he was gay, but he’s already asking to get physical.”

“He just wants help.” Justin didn’t want to say that he was starting to think that Brian in fact was gay, he didn’t want to put him out, it wasn’t his place, plus he liked Brian and didn’t want to gossip about him like that.

“Sure he does, but if that were the case, why is he giving you rides? And why didn’t he ask his partner for help?”

“He saw me walking and felt bad for me, and he probably figured that I was there so he’d ask me. Plus, Peter is like ubergay, if he asked him, how would that NOT make him gay?”

“It wouldn’t, it just wouldn’t make him interested in you, which is the real point here. And Peter is NOT ubergay, he’s hot!”

“Whatever. Let’s move on.”

The boys spent the rest of the evening just talking about stuff like movies and basic stuff. Justin was avoiding The Brian topic and to Randy’s credit, he left it alone. I’m glad that Randy is gay too, I haven’t had any gay friends before, maybe if Brian is gay, and is interested in me, we could all hang out and bring Peter too, that way maybe Randy and him could get something going.

When class was over, Justin said good bye to Randy and headed toward Brian who was just walking away from Peter. 

“Hey, ready to go?” Brian asked.

“Yeah”

The boys headed to the car and hopped in.

“Are you hungry?” Brian wanted to find a way to stay with Justin a bit longer.

“Yeah, I didn’t eat before class and working out makes me hungry.”

“Cool, wanna go get something to eat then?”

“Sure, McDonald’s or Burger King would be good.”

“I’m really not in the mood for that shit, how about Denny’s?”

“Denny’s is cool.” Justin was trying to hide his excitement, they were going to sit down and eat, that meant that they’d have to conversate and he was really interested in getting to know Brian. 

Within a few moments they pulled up to the local Denny’s and went inside. As they were being seated, Brian heard his name being called and was disappointed as he recognized the voice. Lindsey. She was there with a couple of her friends.

“Hey Bri, come sit with us.” Brian waved and started walking that way and threw Justin an apologetic smile. 

Justin realized that his hopes of getting to know Brian had just flown through the window. He figured that this was the girlfriend that Brian had referred to having. 

“Who’s your friend?” asked Lindsey. 

“This is Justin, we’re in the class together. Justin this is my girlfriend Lindsey and her friends Lea and Nicole. ”

“Oh, hi Justin. Why don’t you guys join us, we just ordered, I’m sure they’ll add your orders.”

“Hi.” Justin said and sat down in the open seat next to Lea.

Brian reluctantly sat down next to his girlfriend. He was disappointed, he wanted to spend time with Justin, but he figured that maybe this was a sign that he needed to end it with Lindsey before he tries to get “friendly” with Justin.

They spent the next hour talking about life and regular high school stuff. Justin actually started to like Lindsey and saw a bit of Brian’s personality during dinner. He figured that this was a sign that Brian was straight and he should just move on. However; when they were leaving, Lindsey kissed Brian good bye, and Justin noticed a little hesitation from Brian to kiss back. This perked his interest and made him think that maybe all hope wasn’t lost. Maybe. 

The boys went on their way to Justin’s house and Brian was sure that the silence was a bad sign. Maybe Justin really is gay, and maybe he wanted to hang out with JUST me and he got stuck with me and my girlfriend, Shit, I might have already ruined this. I’ve gotta break it off with Lindsey.

Why isn’t he talking? This silence is killing me. 

“So, Lindsey’s nice.” Justin said in attempt to start a conversation.

“Yeah, but I don’t really think that we’re working out.”

“No? Why’s that?” Justin asked, curious of what the answer would be even though his earlier doubt was beginning to fade. He was starting to think that maybe Brian was interested in someone other than Lindsey. Maybe he’s interested in me!

“I’m starting to kinda like someone else. But I don’t wanna hurt her, we’ve been together for a while, and I do love her, just not like that, ya know?”

“Yeah, I know.” Justin said it with a smile that he tried to hide. Is it to forward to ask him who he does like? Nah, he brought it up, he must be ok with talking about it, but I hardly think that he’ll tell me if it’s me. Oh well, it’s worth a try.

“So, who are you starting to like? That is, if you don’t mind me asking.”

Brian was silent for a minute, and then when they pulled up to Justin’s house he answered him. “Well, it’s someone I just met. I wanna get to know them first before I jinx it.” Brian was looking into Justin’s eyes as he said this.

Noting that he said them in stead of her, Justin was even more convinced now then before and the way Brain was looking at him spoke volumes for what he meant. The blond decided to be bold, “Well, I like you, so whoever They are, I’m sure that they will too!”

Holy shit, he’s hitting on me! SCORE! He wants me!!! Oh yeah!!! I can do this. “Then I guess that they already do. I’ll see you tomorrow so we can go over the moves. Later”

Justin was taken aback by how bold Brian had become all of a sudden, he was confused as to what he was supposed to say so he just stuck with “Later,” and hopped out of the car. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day!


End file.
